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Cyberbullying




The fastest growing face of bullying: cyberbullying. Basically, this means using information and
communication technology to deliberately upset someone else. 
It includes bullying via mobile phones, instant messaging, emails,
blogs, Twitter, websites, chatrooms, message boards, Virtual Learning
Environments (VLEs) such as Second Life, or social networking sites like Facebook .
Cyberbullying can include:
 
Threats and blackmail
Harassment
Repeatedly texting unpleasant messages/images
Monitoring or hacking into someone’s online activities or accounts
Impersonating a person and using their identity online

Posting or forwarding unpleasant comments or private information

Sharing videos of someone being bullied

Sending viruses

Pretending to be friends to gain information

Refusing to acknowledge messages or using ‘ignore’ functions

Manipulating someone emotionally to do something: “If you were really my

friend, you’d… “

‘Sexting’ - sending sexually explicit messages or photos to cause distress



The difficulty most children and parents face with cyber bullying is that

it is more difficult to contain and control. Information can spread

rapidly, repeatedly and widely – whether it was intentionally hurtful in

the first place or not – and it can creep into a child’s personal space no

matter where they are. Those who bully can choose to remain anonymous and

they don’t necessarily need to be physically more powerful to bully

anymore. Anonymity can also mean that boundaries could be pushed even

further than if someone is physically in your face.

So how can you help, especially if you feel like children know more about

technology than you do?

When online

Help children make themselves more cyberbully-proof by encouraging them

not to combine real names, ages and provocative words as their

username/email address. Sexybecs13@whatever.com
may seem a fun idea to 13

year old Becs who is just getting into boys and having fun experimenting

with harmless flirting etc – but it gives away a surprising amount of

detail to anyone looking hard enough who might not be so harmless.

You might want to use a picture or image on a profile instead of a real photo.

Keep passwords private and make them hard to guess by using random letters

and numbers instead of names, phone numbers and birthdays etc. This makes

it difficult for people to hack into email accounts.

The web is a very deceptive space. It can feel very private and intimate,

but it’s very public. You may need to discuss that the details they

display, who they talk to and what they talk about are far more open and

accessible than they might realise.

We insist that children tell us the truth about things and we drill them

that they are rude if they don’t answer questions or speak to people when

spoken to - but they need to know that the web is the one place where it’s

okay not to answer people, to block and delete people and not to give out

details like real names, personal information, phone numbers and

addresses. They also need to know that other people don’t always tell the

truth on their profiles and in conversations either.

If bullied, instant messaging services such as MSN have features that

allow you to block or delete people, but children may need encouragement

that it’s okay to block people.

On MySpace and Bebo, profiles can be set to ‘private’ so that only

approved people can see it.

On email accounts such as hotmail, you can block email addresses by

clicking on ‘options’, then ‘more options’. Click the heading ‘junk mail’

then click ‘safe and blocked senders’. Finally, click the ‘blocked

senders’ option and type the offending email address into the box and

click ‘add to the list’.

Be as interested and open to talking about online friends and what a child

does online as you would face-to-face friends and activities.

Children need to know that it’s better to tell you about something that’s

happened online – as soon as possible - even if they’ve joined in bullying

themselves or got themselves into an embarrassing situation.

Save messages if you need to take further action about them.


Mobile phones

Cyberbullying through mobile phones is much harder to prevent.



You can remind children to be careful who they give their phone number to,

but in all fairness most give out their phone numbers in good faith to

people they think are friends. The problem is that they have little

control over whether those people remain friends or if their number is

passed on to others without their consent.

If you do find that nuisance calls or texts are a problem, you can report

this to your mobile phone provider. Newer phones may have reject lists

where you can block a number but generally the only thing a phone company

will be able to do is offer to change your number and liaise with the

police on the matter.



This information was taken from ‘Bullying: A Guide for Parents’ written by

author and psychologist Sian Morgan. It is available to download or

order at www.stopthespiral.com where you can also find more free

information about bullying. 

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